Britain’s Got Talent faces suicide warning over humiliation of performers

Carole Cadwalladr has written about me in the Observer Newspaper. not 100% accurate but then the loss of my career was not of primary importance.

I saw another counsellor on Friday and he said that I had had “The Perfect storm” of mental stress and I DESERVED ANSWERS. He seemed to understand why I say “I WOULD RATHER KILL MYSELF THAN HAVE THE NHS DO IT FOR ME”. Yesterday was an AWFUL day fighting extreme anger and extreme depression. I couldn’t even listen to my music.

On Saturday I saw an old friend, an ex-alcoholic, in Tesco and he said, with no prompting from me, that his current surgery (mine also)  is fkn useless especially one doctor. He also knew of my sister as she volunteers in the local charity for Alcoholics and drug addicts and was amazed that she could destroy her brother yet “pretend” to show such “care” for people she does not know. He asked if she was after an MBE, I told him to ask Dr RB John if he has arranged it.

2-3 other people shook my hand and said I was good but could have chosen a happier song! I fkn now that now but read my reasons and hear the original “Can’t catch every train” and the other song “As long as you make love”


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7 Responses to “Britain’s Got Talent faces suicide warning over humiliation of performers”

  1. Ciro Says:

    See? More people need to be like you. : )

  2. Olig Says:

    Hi M. James,

    First i’m sorry if i’ve made some mistakes in my comment but i’m a French speaker, from Belgium. I saw a post on about wha’ts happened to you on BGT. I felt deeply sorry for Cowel’s Behaviour. He definitly has a low-education level!

    I personnally don’t like sad songs, neither sad films nor sad stories . But if you have a feeling you want to share trough your songs, it’s your absolute right and from the moment you passed first selections, they must let you finish what you intended to do.

    My family, my friends and most of those i’ve discussed with are thinking the same way i do.

    I’ll hope this won’t put an end to your passion and i’ll show my deepest respect for daring doing this.

    Olivier. G.

    Post-scriptum :

    J’espère néanmoins que d’autres personnes de “BGT” ont montré plus de gentillesse et de sympathie. Cette attitude, tant du public que du jury, dessert cette émission!

    A très bientôt, continuez votre passion et dites-vous bien que vous n’avez déjà plus rien à prouver!

  3. themaddentist Says:

    HF or Ciro,

    what a wonderful comment, words cannot express how I felt reading that.
    Thnak you


  4. themaddentist Says:

    Mandy, thanks and yes I have quite a few happier songs altho the last 12 years have spawned quite a few even angrier/sadder songs. That song was originally an upbeat country song about the end of a relationship that I wrote for some young nursie who was distraught at my friend ditching her. SHe thought it was crap LLOL so my plan failed

  5. Ciro Says:

    Dear Alyn,

    I do not watch Britain’s Got Talent, nor do I even own a TV. However, I stumbled upon the YouTube video of the episode where you sang and I would like to share some of my reflections with you.

    Firstly, it was clear to me, as someone who is not accustomed to the way television portrays reality, that the show is ostensibly set up to place the focus of judgment on you, the singer, who is auditioning to win some prize, award or distinction. (I apologise for not being aware of how these
    shows work specifically, but I am assuming that it is generally set up this way.) You have a well-lit, empty stage on which to stand, surrounded by well made-up head judges with the general public serving as the broader judge of your performance.

    Immediately as you walked on the stage, I knew what was about to ensue before you even opened your mouth to sing the first word of your song. I knew not because of anything that you said or did, but rather because I could sense the character of the people who were about to judge you. The head judges were clearly not in a mindset to truly listen to you– they spoke and behaved arrogantly and disrespectfully from the very beginning. “Oh right… a singing dentist!” [laughter]

    As you began your song, I could immediately sense a certain depth to it, as if it had been the product of an important event in your life. I sensed a sad but true reality beginning to surface… You had an air of sincerity, which distinguished you from the people who were judging you. Even though I cannot specifically relate to the details of your song, I felt a broader connection to that sincerity that you were offering to the audience.

    I noticed almost immediately that people were not able to handle your song, from the immaturely theatrical faces of the judges to the increasingly solemn faces of some members of the audience. The scope of your song completely went over the heads of the judges, who seemed to be empty of genuine emotion, but I could tell that some members of the audience were “getting it” and even perhaps relating it to their own experiences. However, when I began to see a sudden shift from somber faces to laughing and smiling, I could tell that some sort of defense mechanism was kicking in. That was about when the judges started buzzing you to stop, to which the crowd started cheering.

    Alyn, you should not take this reaction from the crowd personally. You have unwittingly uncovered something much larger than a contest or a prize. In standing on the stage delivering your song, you have actually exposed a flaw in the very people judging you. In a sense, your song became the judge and they became the contestants. You have revealed that as a society, we have developed defense mechanisms to shield us from confronting some of the more difficult human emotions so that we can continue to laugh and smile, even as many things around us begin to worsen (economy, politics, personal relationships, etc.) If you watch your video again through this new perspective, you will see that none of the verbal reactions that you receive seem sincere. “Oh, it’s eeeever so depressing!” “Awwww….” These attempts to laugh you off the stage were only to mask the discomfort that the audience felt at the difficult emotion your evoked in your song, which they all feel themselves from time to time. Amidst much laughter and cheering, all of which was fake, you were cued to leave the stage as the fake/happy music began to play in the background. I sensed this feeling of relief from the crowd that they could again go on laughing and enjoying themselves, with this emotion safely tucked away from view again.

    You are very brave to stand before a panel of “plastic faces” to present something so raw and so real to you. I believe that you have chosen the correct song, Alyn, perhaps not for the arbitrary distinction of being the “best” artist in the contest but for exposing something much more meaningful than that. By the way, I looked up your personal website because I liked your song and wanted to hear it in its entirety. It’s very beautiful and much more profound than something “cheerful” purely for the purpose of pleasing an ignorant audience. Please do not change the way you make music to suit others. In fact, it is others who should be more like you and sing from their hearts.

    You are a true inspiration to me.

    Thank you.


  6. Mandy Says:

    Well, fair play to you for going for an audition. That takes guts and some.

    I haven’t seen the performance but will try and acces it via your blog as for the song… was your time and your choice :>)

    I hope you got something positive from the experience and it showed you what you can do. Am not a fan of the talent spotter programmes but I admire anyone who is prepared to stand in front of a massive audience and panel and do their thing.

    Good luck with the counsellor. From what I have read here they are supportive of you and is about ruddy time someone was. There is a great void out there in blogland of faceless wonders fannying around with PC speak and you have never been afraid to tell it exactly how it is.

    Good on ya sport!!!

  7. Says:

    Britain’s Got Talent faces suicide warning over humiliation of performers…

    Simon Cowell under attack by mental health charities after ex-dentist is jeered on TV reality showMental health charities are calling for ITV and Simon Cowell to re-examine urgently how they choose contestants for their talent shows, warning that a tra…

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