life after BGT

The choice of song will be a mill stone around my neck for the rest of my  life but from it I learnt that talking therapies DO EXIST IN NEATH but Dr F Gama said they did not. So many lies, so much deceit.

Also I have quite a few more friends than I had before which wouldn’t be difficult as all deserted me in 1998. I THANK ALL THOSE WHO HAVE SHOWN SUPPORT. All of you have said more positive things about me in 3 days than the whole of the NHS have said in 11 years.

Apart from this, LLOL. I google me and find this and I LIKE the first sentence YAY Willie Nelson’s psychiatric brother but then I looked totally different as a dentist, eleven years ago, before Dr RB John came into, took over, and fucked up my life ……

Alyn James. Looking like Willie Nelson’s psychiatric-patient brother, Alyn revealed that he was a retired dentist. Good god, can you imagine waking from anaesthesia and seeing Alyn James leering back at you? His long, nicotine-stained hair tickling your cheeks, his walrus-like moustache bristling against your chin. We’re fairly confident that he smells exactly the way you’d imagine. And his singing stank, too. Aha-ha. Oh, cheap jokes, how we love you. No, seriously: Alyn James chose to sing a self-penned ballad about a female friend who committed suicide, but then didn’t. Because Alyn James is the kind of small-town idiot who will believe anything Penny down at the baker’s tells him, without question. Universally despised by the judges.

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I really appreciate the words of support but from it all I now fully see how my life has TOTALLY AND UTTERLY FKN destroyed and how the NHS has changed me from the REAL me to an “at the moment” plastic fake me. Pre 1998 I would have SHIT myself going on stage ALONE in front of 4000 people and all my songs were in my head or just strumming guitars recorded on my computer in a fledgling Cubase 3.5. I was a prolific song writer and sorta OK on guitar, altho joining the CONMEN! in early 1998 made me practice like hell. THEN all hell broke loose and  then I played in bands for years, touring the UK and Europe BUT I NEVER have been on stage by myself, the centre of attention, let alone on Television.

As a friend said “At least you weren’t on Crimewatch

I am still trying to put into words why I entered.

I write my songs to escape from life but my life is in my songs

Just found that I look like the Bagman from Sunderland

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One Response to “life after BGT”

  1. damien bruce Says:

    hi alyn. i know you have lots of other music you have created. my question is how can i get to hear it? as a sing/songwriter myself i have a great respect for anyone doing the same (regardless of their feedback).
    looking foward to hearing back – damien.

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