you’ve got to stop feeling so sorry for yourself

This is my response from a “well meaning” poster as a comment to this post. received this morning.

I’m sorry for your situation. But you’ve got to stop feeling so sorry for yourself. You’ve got so much to live for. What!!! I am called a mental patient ON THE WHIM OF A DOCTOR and because of that I lost my career, without ANY CHANCE of returning to being a dentist. I was STRUCK OFF for NO REASON, on the whim of Dr RB John. The pathetic, self centered and arrogant imitation of a man, didn’t think it necessary to TALK TO ME about his “treatment plan” and then, when I asked him on release, what the fuck was going on HE ACTUALLY DENIED ANY INVOLVEMENT.

I dont want to offend you. S’OK I have been insulted by experts, the Welsh NHS and some doctors in West Glamorgan.

 But if you want to see people who deserve to say “I don’t want to be alive” check out the the people in hospitals who have terminal cancer or the children’s cancer ward. They don’t have a choice to live or die. You’ll find that most of the time they actually have very high spirits. If they can live happily then nobody else has an excuse to complain. If I had cancer then I would have had a moment where the doctor said to me TO MY FACE “I am sorry Al you have cancer” and then have had the treatment options explained to me and my family. I would have had counselling from Cancer Support Nurses to give me the opportunity to fight the illness, I would not have been told MOVE ON, you have cancer, accept it. I would not have been sent to the psychiatrist as an ungrateful patient when I asked a question about my illness. My sister Dr Keatley E James would NOT have said “I will not interfere because Dr RB John meant well” especially knowing that Dr RB John had MADE UP THE DIAGNOSIS and that this “diagnosis” was catastrophically wrong. The adjective pusillanimous describes her perfectly. But it does make me wonder how many other times she has covered up for Dr RB John and his medical malpractice and incompetence. This SHOULD BE INVESTIGATED to discover the true nature and extent of the corruption in the Neath Port Talbot Local Health Board when Dr RB John was their Medical Director. The actions of several Chief Executives should also be investigated to see the extent of their collusion.

Have a look at some of the third world countries. People don’t even have money to eat. WHAT THE FUCK HAS THAT TO DO WITH MY SITUATION?? Anyway I was told that the NHS is Wales was worse than that in a FOURTH WORLD country in 1985, why the fuck did I EVER want to move back to Wales?. I bet very few of those poor people in Africa are actually dentists that lost their careers. Dentists that got struck off, sectioned FOR NO REASON.

Sure it may be the lowest point in your life, but you’ve got the opportunities to do anything. People would give their lives to have the opportunities you have. WHAT FUCKING OPPORTUNITIES?? I have lost my career of 30 years, I have a big debt SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE of Dr RB John’s deceit and lies. I have absolutely no opportunity to rebuild my life because I have limited use of BOTH ARMS. I cannot play my guitar and piano as I have done for 50 years. I cannot work as a dentist and yet suffer DAILY people asking about their dental problems and saying how much they missed me as their dentist. I was a semi-professional musician, playing guitar and keyboards in 3 rock bands, can’t play for too long now. Left arm has NO PULSE AND NO RECORDABLE BLOOD PRESSURE, right arm has an unresolved haematoma and pain in my right wrist. When I ask about those problems I am told to MOVE ON and cannot get answers.

Suck it up buddy. Be strong. Your life isnt as tough as you think it is. OH I see, I didn’t see you yesterday when I struggled to open a tin of cat food because of the pain in my wrist. I didn’t see you as I tried to squeeze my weekly shop to stay within a £50 budget. I didn’t see you at all the recent visits to the so called “medical professionals” as they insulted my intelligence, intentionally humiliated me and REFUSED to answer my questions. Read THIS POST where I say I have ALWAYS said that if Dr A ( Dr RB John)  had said I had a physical disease say Cancer then at least I would have got treatment and some sort of respect from the Medics in Neath. SO don’t pontificate, don’t speak without knowledge. It was a catastrophically WRONG diagnosis, a MISDIAGNOSIS for which I received treatment for 5-6 years. UNNESCESSARY MEDICATION. Ever been on anti-psychotic/psychaitric medication FOR NO FUCKING REASON. Proven by thisCOMP which was attached to his “Medical Opinion“. A document which was REFUSED AS EVIDENCE in the NHS Complaint “service”. AND THE ONLY INDICATION I had that something COULD HAPPEN, no date, no certainty.

Im not just talking out of my ass, I’ve hit rock bottom before. The only way is up. The only way is up, correct, first bit of sense you have written BUT your signature says it all. Tony – a dentist from Australia. OH SO YOU ARE A DENTIST and I would assume practicing as one somewhere in Australia. Different matter when you are working isn’t it, mate.

SO you saying But if you want to see people who deserve to say “I don’t want to be alive” check out the the people in hospitals who have terminal cancer or the children’s cancer ward. I find insulting to my intelligence and shows , to me, the NIMBY attitude of once fellow professionals because I DO NOT have cancer, I sometimes ludicrously wish I did have cancer, maybe one day I will succumb to this horrible disease, because then I WOULD get treatment, hopefully, from the “doctors” as they “attempt to treat me”. Instead of EVERY doctor, almost without exception, defend the obviously intentional  and catastrophic misdiagnosis made by Dr RB John and in so doing DENIED me any form of reasonable treatment.

BUT how different to the treatment I receive now? 2 visits and ALL my questions have been noted and I have been referred to the relevant consultants. AND ALL GLEANED FROM MY MEDICAL NOTES, the same notes that Castle Surgery used BUT and a big but I feel, this Doctor ACTUALLY HAS READ THEM, well the Doctor quoted from a letter from the Cardiac Consultant  written BEFORE the bypass in 2008. Why couldn’t Dr Gama have done the same? Why could not have Dr G Kahan ALSO READ the notes and responded as my current GP has. NO the fool screamed and yelled at me and restarted ALL THE SHIT WITH THE PSYCHIATRIST. And then intentionally wrote “her version” in my Medical Notes, falsifying the visit, being dishonest to cover up HER arrogance. That is malpractice.

But I think I understand the sentiments with which you wrote your comment but in essence you ALSO told me to move on, forget my dental career. However to move on AND IGNORE the last 40 years of my life is tantamount to denying that I EVER was a Dentist. Denying that I ever existed.


I have had the radio on as I write this and as I wrote the last paragraph they played “Like a Rollling Stone”, by Bob Dylan. I quote from the 3rd verse and chorus:

Ain’t it hard when you discover that
He really wasn’t where it’s at
After he took from you everything he could steal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Have I told you what I am doing to “move on” as you and others repeatedly tell me to do? No I haven’t because it is irrelevant to this blog. I have NO intention of telling anyone what I am doing besides trying to get resolution because, as I have said, to give up trying would be tantamount to SUICIDE.

I put my trust in a man who lied.

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One Response to “you’ve got to stop feeling so sorry for yourself”

  1. sam Says:

    Knowing your case history, MD, the ONLY bit of the Aussie Dentist’s comment I find myself in agreement with is ‘The only way is up.’

    However, that applies regardless of how you got to be so crushed and down.

    Perhaps Aussie Dentist does not have the experience of being misdiagnosed with the wrong serious illness…?

    Perhaps he doesn’t have the experience of being denied the opportunity to be informed about one’s treatment and condition, and thus unable to give informed consent?

    Or being labelled – another misdiagnosis – as a mental patient simply because one asks reasonable questions about one’s treatment and condition?

    Maybe he doesn’t have the experience of being blocked and silenced at every turn by medics who gang up covertly in order to cover up?

    Or does he have the experience of having his licence to practice revoked on a whim and his whole career and future trashed summarily?

    Does he have the experience that doctors and administrators lie -yes, as in deliberately cover up and distort the truth – about their incompetence, negligence and bullying of patients?

    Well, Mr Aussie Dentist, there are thousands of patients in the UK who HAVE HAD these experiences. Thousands of patients have died and are dying as a result of such careless practices. Thousands.

    There are petitions before Parliament even now from huge groups of patients to get independent investigations and judicial reviews of these cases all over the country.

    The NHS has a legal dept which spends, officially, a £Billion each year on defending itself and staff. £Millions go to patients in out of court settlements that have gagging orders attached, so the public never gets to hear about all the mistakes.

    Officially 1 million NHS patients were victims of iatrogenic injury in 2008. (Look up the stats on the National Patient Safety Agency site).

    Instead of coming clean, admitting to the injured patient that mistakes were made, and knuckling down to rectifying the damage as soon as possible, what the great NHS machine does is encourage the sort of obfuscating activities that MD has been subject to.

    Only today, it was revealed that doctors dish out psychotropic medications like sweeties – in order to ‘calm’ people down (i.e. silence them) when they are presenting with legitimate and valid conditions and concerns.

    It’s bizarre. And extremely damaging to the patient. After all, if you can’t trust a doctor or a nurse, who can you trust…? It shakes your whole faith in civilisation. It’s a catastrophic betrayal of trust, and nothing but abuse – physical, mental, emotional. It incurs serious traumatic stress disorders for which there is no treatment because the body that caused them will not own up to the part it’s played in triggering those disabilities.

    Perhaps you’d care to visit the UK, Mr Aussie Dentist? Maybe even take a job as a dental surgeon in the NHS for a few years? Get to know well the system you’re up against (make no mistake, there are hundreds of medical professionals suspended currently because their faces didn’t fit…). The BMJ reports that 25% of NHS staff are routinely bullied by colleagues and administrators. Fancy that?

    I’m just talking about the tip of the iceberg. And I wouldn’t want to bore you with mountainous corroborative evidence and statistics.

    The plain fact of the matter is that MD has obviously been jerked around for years and denied appropriate, timely diagnoses and treatment. When it could all have been really simply and straightforward for all concerned. Is it any surprise that the latest news from the Welsh NHS is that £1Billion has been wasted or gone missing…? How much is spent on bizarre diagnostics and their horrible repercussions…?

    To compare one person’s dire experience with, for example, a continent’s dire experiences is, logically speaking, a fallacious proposition. The point is that these dire experiences should never be allowed in the first place.

    It takes an enormous amount of courage to speak up honestly about a massive, whole system problem. Denial is the refuge of cowards. You might not like the way MD presents but to deny his case and tell him to move on from the comfort of half a planet away smacks of fear and cowardice.

    But perhaps you’d like to share your history with us and let us know how you managed to move on in the face of the same sort of unresolved carelessness and obfuscation?

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