I rang Samaritans

but put the phone down before they answered because I suddenly thought what could they do that I haven’t tried already. They would say “Have you been to your doctor?” or similar. They would say have you talked to someone? It would be easier to list the people I HAVEN’T talked to. Because I don’t know them as I have TRIED EVERY one I do know

from a local councillor to top politicians, from a retired police inspector to a retired habitual criminal, from a ward cleaner to top consultants, from bar-staff to barristers.

I have had suicide attached to my name 3 times since 1998

A)  Dr RB John intentionally described/ misdiagnosed me as a high risk suicide in 1998 and I was sent to hospital with less than 24 hours notice having been told that my practice would be under Health Authority control IMMEDIATELY. I was not, and had NEVER been, suicidal at that time so had absolutely no idea this was to happen. BUT I was treated and medicated and reinforced that I WAS suicidal whilst my Professional life was being destroyed OUT OF MY CONTROL.


B )  I saw Dr A Howe in Dyfed Road Surgery after a traumatic experience, he refused to listen to me and I screamed at him “That I might have well have committed suicide then” He called the police to my house but I received no further treatment, in fact I was banned from the surgery.

C ) I wished to commit suicide on December 22nd 2008 and was sent to a psychiatrist who said I had justifiable cause to be angry at the way I have been treated by the NHS and I deserved answers and compensation. However that was NOT the reason I wished to commit suicide it was the medical fiasco since my bypass Easter 2008 that made me wish to die rather than have the NHS kill me. She later denied that and I was subsequently banned from seeing her. I saw another psychiatrist who banned me because he wished to give me medication, which I refused unless he gave me a diagnosis that warranted said medication, which he refused to do and so I was banned again.

My Income support has stopped and I am now £600 a month worse of as I also have to pay my council tax now. I may loose my house as I have a large mortgage on it because of the debt raised with the collapse of my practice and career in 1998-2002. My practice was destroyed in 1998 and instead of realising a profit, or breaking even, on sale I lost a fortune. It was an awful time which I had to deal with by myself, on prescription medication. When I did eventually receive medical help all they did was remind me I was suicidal but wouldn’t listen to what I WAS ACTUALLY SAYING.

I wanted to know what the fuck was going on.

www.mad-dentist.co.uk says a lot BUT and a big but there is  HELL of a lot more to fuel my anger, despair and wish to die in the communication with the NHS as I tried to get a complaint against Dr RB John to be recognised. My financial destruction took maybe 3 -4 years to complete. I tried EVERYTHING I could to get answers, I asked Dr RB John but he refused to answer. I tried solicitors galore and documentation exists to show their total lack on interest. My lack of money was the main stumbling block. And then the complaint. ALL documented.

I cannot read those letters again It would remind me of the 9 months time delay to reply rather than the 20 working days I was told for example. Being called paranoid, delusions of persecution with dislocation from reality and so much more. I told Dr Gama and he said there was no reply from the psychiatrists that I am seriously fighting suicide now.

I am seriously fighting suicide now

NOW, today September 23rd 2009

I WISH TO DIE by my own hand.

I was advised recently to put my continuing complaint to the Local Health Board, the same one that corruptly denied me a fair and proper investigation into my justifiable complaint against Dr RB John. One would have to those letters again to see the extent of the web of deceit that was woven by Dr RB John et al. I now see how worthless I am. People judge me BECAUSE I have been in a psychiatric unit and therefore am deemed to be mentally unstable. SO they ignore me.

HOWEVER I was “sectioned” on A LIE and have documents to prove so. No one has asked to see THEM, even parts of my medical notes were hidden from the investigation. The Medical opinion was not allowed as evidence in the Complaint procedure, despite the date and the fact that this was the only indication I had received, by post, that retirement was an option BUT NOT A CERTAINTY. I do not remember ever receiving though but I do remember receiving this Sunday 7th June 1998.

I spent from 1998 to November 2007 believing I was once suicidal. Then I found the compliment slip. and saw that HE MADE IT ALL UP and then my sister said she knew all along. And yet she denied me help preferring to watch me kill myself.

I feel I AM now mentally unstable (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)  and this has been CAUSED by the actions of Dr RB John and the denial and cover up by the NHS in West Glamorgan. I receive treatment when I am NOT suicidal and am denied ANY treatment AT ALL when I ACTUALLY AM SUICIDAL. I cannot write ALL that is in my head, it would take too long but read the website and then chronologically from here on this blog.

My left arm is cold, my chest hurts, my pulse is racing I must be sitting wrong. As I was here.

I wrote this 19.31 GMT 23rd September 2009 and as you are reading this on my blog then I won again  but I cannot get rid of these thoughts. Dr Ballasurryia once said I deserved compensation for the way I have been treated. HOW CAN ONE COMPENSATE  for the written statement that my heart disease is a direct result of the extreme stress caused by a major upheaval in my life?  AND the loss of maybe 15 years further work as a NHS Dentist. A £68k debt which has cost me £400 pcm for 10 years. A severely reduced pension because of an INTENTIONAL error in 1998 by Dr RB John.

The total loss of my identity and all Dr Ronald Bryn John can say is “I cannot remember” and yet he is exemplary.


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One Response to “I rang Samaritans”

  1. Find West Glamorgans in Dyfed Says:

    […] I rang Samaritans […]

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