Nearly died

I didn’t say in yesterday’s post but I had, what appeared to me, as a mini heart attack almost from the moment that Pensions woman left my house. Heart racing, numbness in my left arm with tingling  in my left little and ring fingers and breathless. I felt absolutely dreadful. Niggles rather than pain spread across my chest on the left side. I went to town, by car, to get some food I was shaking and spontaneously crying by now.  On return I tried sitting in the garden but the pains got worse. I wanted to die.

I went to bed but I couldn’t sleep because my minds was racing over my finances in August and how I would probably have to sell my house and how that c*nt Dr RB John had eventually succeeded in totally destroying me. Also thinking about Muthakkumar’s comment at that last appointment saying I had had refused medication and thus he would not see me.

ANSWER THIS : How would being on anti psychiatric medication have had an influence on how I reacted, or rather HOW MY FUCKING BODY REACTED to all this? Hence the reason I refused medication WITHOUT A DIAGNOSIS. ( Anybody that disagrees with me PLEASE leave a comment )

BUT now I can’t get out of bed, I can’t sleep because my mind is racing and I don’t know where my mobile phone is and my wireless/portable house phone in my bedroom had fallen out the cradle and was discharged.

I prayed to my dead Dad and Mum PLEASE HELP ME.I didn’t pray to my Christian God as I now believe he wasn’t listening unless He also has plans for me that He won’t tell me. That shows that Dr RB John thinks he is a god doesn’t it?

After tossing and turning for an eternity I had the weird idea to sleep with the pillows under my feet and no pillow for my head. I feel asleep immediately. I had to have the radio on (Arrow) all the time but the first song was Brain Damage by Pink Floyd, 2nd was Highway to Hell by ACDC so no real help there. I eventually fell asleep.

slept, woke, slept, woke, was sick in the toilet, slept, was sick in the bed, woke, so I went down stairs at 4.00am and cleaned the sheets and mattress.

I wanted to tell someone about all this but as it was Saturday I went to Boots Chemist as the girls in the Pharmacy are the only medical type professionals I know in Neath and trust. (It was either them or the vets. I have NO respect for any so called doctor in Neath). Karen sent me to the out of hours service in the local Hospital. I saw a doctor at 1.50.

BP 120/80, pulse 72 heart beating regularly but with syncopation. I saw he had trouble getting the pulse in my right arm. The Doc said I showed all the signs of having an angina attack but I may also have been very close to a myocardial disaster…. stroke or heart attack considering my cardiac history. He asked if I wanted to be admitted and I asked if I had to say yes and he said no BUT he wagged his finger at me and said ANY PAIN in your chest  ring 999 BUT he insisted I go and see Dr G on Monday. I was going to anyway.

He had discovered I was a dentist in the history taking and treated me with respect afforded to a professional (listening? Drs L, K Muttha, Balla etc etc) He said you had worked for the NHS for a long time so let then work for you now (listening? NHS Wales). He prescribed a nitrolingual spray (ALL doctors tell me to fkn move on and forget dentistry BUT I do not know if the top advert changes, I hope it doesn’t but fkn look at it.) for the chest pain: angina and he said it was definitely triggered by that pensions woman.

I talked to a fellow friend/sufferer on the telephone for 2 hours, ate some stir-fry I quickly concocted and went to bed at 8.00pm and woke after undisturbed sleep at 6.00am. I had left the radio on and they played Total eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler (she comes from Neath coincidentally) Those 3 coincidences are why I love music so much and why I have written 400+ songs, wish I could use both hands now and write some more.


I don’t need to commit suicide now as my heart has taken over and it will be THAT that decides wether I die or not now . IT IS OUT OF MY HANDS.


This cardiac incident PROVES that Dr RB John CATASTROPHICALLY fucked up my life in 1998 so let us compare the telephone call with the visit from the Pension wallah.

In 1998: Two (2) months after that telephone call all this was occurring whilst I was on prescription medication and whilst Dr RB John was refusing to tell me what was happening and thus my pension was SEVERLY reduced meaning I had to eventually go on Income Support. I had NO HELP in ANY shape from ANYONE, I could not even get treatment for my increasing anger etc

In 2009: I will loose Income Support on August 22nd 2009 BUT I will be able, heart willing, to sort this shit out my way. If not I am now sure I will get assistance as the stress now WILL KILL ME.

Also about 2 weeks into my stay in Heath House I received a telephone call from my receptionist that the practice was left open, causing more stress. So that could have been 26th June-ish as I was hospitalised 12th June 1998. The date on Friday was 26th June 2009. Is that a coincidence? A coincidence does not prove a relationship, but related events may be expected to have a higher index of coincidence. That sentence requires NO further comment.( Anybody that disagrees with me PLEASE leave a comment ) It however proves, in my mind something I have know ALL ALONG and something denied by EVERYONE IN THE NHS IN WALES and points to ONE CAUSE.


Question: “You know the difference between God and a doctor?”
Answer: “God never thinks He’s a doctor.”


Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which are causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner. In order to count as synchronicity, the events should be unlikely to occur together by chance.

The two events: The visit from the Pensions woman and my retirement in 1998. If Dr RB John HAD told me correctly and professionally I was to be retired pre June 1998 the likelihood of the events of the following 10 years occurring would be extremely unlikely as I would have done what was necessary myself and thus would have had no one to blame for the outcome but me. AND I would have had  a life that was of my own making. SO it would have been EXTREMELY unlikely that I would NEED Income Support.

Which of course is why I say Dr RB John IS the cause, he WAS negligent, he WAS corrupt in the complaint, he HAS deceived the NHS and they protect him.


Medical reactions to SUICIDE:

Dr RB John said in the Medical Opinion that I talked seriously about suicide, between November 2007 and June 1998:


yet he did nothing for at least 7 months, but arrange for me to suddenly be hospitalised but without telling me.

Dr AS Howe of Dyfed Road Surgery on hearing me say I should have committed suicide called the police to section me. The same day.

Dr F G of Castle Surgery referred me to Dr Balla I had an appointment with her maybe 2-3 days later.

Which is the best/correct treatment?

Which treatment could be called exemplary?

Which treatment could be described as negligent?

or show that Dr RB John had MADE UP my suicidal intentions. The compliment slip also says so. No wonder the Medical Opinion was refused as evidence in the NHS Complaint. AND this shows the corruption in the NHS Complaint Service, in Wales, by ALL concerned.

my cries for help

And yet in June 1999 the Consultant in Heath House wrote this letter.

I need to rest.


Tags: , , , , ,

4 Responses to “Nearly died”

  1. UK results for ?S=A in Dyfed Says:

    […] Nearly died […]

  2. themaddentist Says:

    WOW interesting comment Mand.
    Heard of panic attacks but never really experienced them.
    But my heart is crap apparently according to the Cardo people, a FACT seemingly ignored by certain doctors in Neath, I won’t mention Dr Gwen Kahan’s name here for obvious reasons.
    However I WILL mention your comment to the quack, sorry doctor, on Monday when I see him.
    I tend to do nothing all day anyway through my depression but now I feel “angry” as I HAVE to do nothing today as advised by nice doc I saw yesterday.

  3. Nearly died Says:

    […] Original post by themaddentist […]

  4. Mandy Says:

    Hi MD

    From what you have written it sounds like a panic attack to me. When you say panic attack people, generally, think it is something to be sniffed at. Treated with little concern but as a person who has suffered them for long enough…they are very frightening things to have to deal with.

    The first time I had one my symptoms were as yours. My heart, for no obvious reason, started pounding and beating faster. I was struggling to breath, sweating, getting the numbness and thinking I was having a heart attack.

    I was at work and an ambulance was called. Was taken to hospital for heart monitoring and tests showed that nothing was badly wrong…certainly I hadn’t had a heart attack. Afterwards was referred to a heart specialist…as a precaution and I was given this contraption (with velcro pads) that I had to place around my wrists and ankles every time an attack came. That was a right pallaver. When the attacks came I was in too much of a state to put the pads in the right places. Anyway, am still here (at time of going to press) so am sure that what I suffered at that time and still do is panic attacks and hyperventilation.

    Even now, knowing what a panic attack is doesn’t help that much because when the symptoms come they are so overpowering. Lorazepam has helped me but writing objectively, anyone who can control them without the aid of medication has to be at the ‘as good as it gets’ stage.

    All that aside. If you haven’t suffered from panic attacks before, would say is best to get things checked with a GP. As in better safe than sorry.

    Take care :>)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: