The appointment without a home

Dr G categorically said that he did not refer me to the Cardiac Unit.

The only way to gain entrance to the Cardiac Waiting List is for a referral to be made by the Patient’s GP. He searched through my notes and FOUND NONE and is as confused as I am.

FUCK ME MY LIFE IS IN THEIR HANDS and no one knows what is going on. previous post

SO I said: I am so depressed and I see the need to die if this is the way I am treated BUT Dr Ballasurya has effectively, by HER lies, made certain I cannot get treatment or help. Look what Dr G K did to me in April last year when I quite reasonably asked for reassurance re my misdiagnosed heart disease.

READ my fkn notes and SEE my depression BUILD UP week by week.

See the causes for my despair, the blood tests, the comments from Dr A L, Dr R L and of course Dr G K.

The fiasco with the Blood pressure monitor

I have your letter saying that “no where in my notes is an annotation that I am a MENTAL PATIENT and yet I get referred to the Mental Health Services 5 fkn times just because NO ONE FUCKING LISTENS TO ME.


Suicide is not an irrational action but rather it is the rational outcome to a hopeless and intolerable life.
There is sympathy for those with terminal illnesses or severe paralysis who bring an end to their suffering by ending their life.  Unfortunately, such sympathy rarely extends to the mentally ill who can take no more.  They are seen as ill, irrational, weak, “it’s their fault”, “if only they would buck up their ideas”, “we’re well rid of them”.  There is prejudice, stigma, stereotyping, ignorance, incompetence, neglect – yes, neglect! 

Lives become hopeless and intolerable because the caring services don’t care, they neglect to look after these patients properly.  The ill are non-people.  If children were neglected by the services as are these adults there would be, justifiably, a massive outcry, questions raised in parliament, change would happen but for these unfortunate adults there is utter shameful neglect, left to live or die by an uncaring service. 

Many don’t start out wanting to die but that is where they end up because the NHS either ignores them or offers inadequate treatment for their severe needs and social services unable to provide proper support.


I used to get confused when I heard these names using the word ‘Service’ like the National Health Service and Financial Services Authority

But today, I overheard two farmers talking; one of them said he had hired a bull to ‘service’ a few cows.  Suddenly it all became clear
I now understand what all those ‘Service’ Agencies are doing to us. 


After I was kicked out of Dentistry I was a professional musician playing keyboards and guitar in 3 bands and I was very slowly building up a residential, rehearsal and recording studio with available tuition in ALL instruments, from many friends. My only real success is Rashelle Davies, and she was present through ALL the financial troubles and I owe a lot to the “Rash that I didn’t want penicillin to cure” Others include The Hailers in their early days, Lethargy rehearsed in the studio for a while also in their earlier but considerably quieter days

I was also a free lance sound engineer and toured the UK and Europe.

It all fell apart when I had to stop playing as I soon lost the contacts I needed and I also, because of the reduced blood flow in my left arm, cannot do the free-lancing as that requires me to lift heavy objects as I cannot use my left arm to even carry shopping for more than a minute and I have no grip in my right hand.

I am loosing the joy of music rapidly. 40 years in Dentistry but 53 years in music as I started lessons for piano at 6 and guitar at 8.

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One Response to “The appointment without a home”

  1. Mike Says:

    Just passing by.Btw, you website have great content!

    Making Money $150 An Hour

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