Putting the patient LAST

I have been thinking about death a lot since Christmas as I have STILL not got ANY of the offered treatment. The psychiatrist gave me hope, she told me I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG and yet NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE.

It all seems a bit pointless writing to the Welsh Health Minister because the correct level of support from the surgery was to send me to the Mental Health Gateway Services WITHOUT telling me.

NABATO doc did not exactly explain THAT incident when I saw him on Monday. In fact HE looked confused when I told him.

Blood tests were OK except my white cell count was a fraction up maybe because I was still suffering with a long standing cold, which incidentally was the reason I saw the patronising little sh*t

( I saw the little shit on the way out and he smiled and nodded at me. Also as I waited for NABATO doc I also saw Dr S****** and HE also acknowledged me. )

I said to him “ Let’s start again and PLEASE resolve this situation once and for all. Not to do so will ensure that I will be “killed” by the NHS and this all started with Dai Sheepman Dr. RB John. So in effect Dai would be the cause of my death AND as he is the cause of ALL this medical farce I will NEVER receive correct and good treatment until the CAUSE is eradicated.  STRESS IS THE CAUSE OF MY CURRENT MEDICAL FARCE,  stress CAUSED by Dai’s REFUSAL to be honest and explain.

I either get comments about my “mission” i.e. Dr K****, L****told I do not understand, Dr L***** or receive strange comments re arm going blue and falling off. Well IT HAS GONE BLUE. Dr M***** also agreed that I could show signs of PTSD “

I told NABATO about the latest incident re my destroyed career and asked him “How the hell I am supposed to react to THAT.

I told NABATO doc what my son said when I told him what had happened.My son’s reply was “WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING THEY ARE TRYING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!!”

I have been thinking about death a lot.  Being dead I assume is just ;like being asleep with no dreams BUT killing myself is the hard bit.

I feel OK-ish now BUT all I need is a little trigger.


I have been asked to attend a reunion of University College Hospital in March. Paul wants me to attend as there are other old mates that want to see me. One is now a Consultant Oncologist and Paul was a Radiology Consultant and I am fkn nothing thanks to Dai Sheepman


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One Response to “Putting the patient LAST”

  1. Mandy Says:

    Having spent the afternoon in a meeting which, I am not sure on reflection, might not make the slightest bit of difference…I have to concur with you that your statement about resolving something once and for all hit the spot. that is the spot between the rock and the hard place.

    Keep hanging on in there :>)

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