Ooops that was close

I visited a friend on Saturday and his neighbour parked HIS car about an inch from my bumper so I couldn’t get out.

My mate said that he ALWAYS does that and stopped me going in to shout at the arsehole, moved his car and off I went in a fearful temper. When I got home what did I see?? My sisters letter and the one from the Local Health Board.

A strange feeling came over me as I serioulsy thought that my life is not worth a damn now. I wanted to die. I started making plans then my neighbour came round to chat and she “talked me out ” of wishing to kill myself. Thanks Mary!

I have put up  the last version of my website and the html and folders are all in my USB flash drive attached to my keyring. It is marked suicide.


Spiritually my sister’s letter seems to complete a circle. My depression started when I saw my Mum die in hospital and then I immediately discovered my wife’s infedelity. Then my sister refused to help me because, as she says in her letter, Mum forced her to do a job for 30+ years, 15 after mum’s death, that she never wanted to do.

A thought came that this is Mum’s way of “blaming me” for her tripping over my dog and breaking her femur and thus her death.

OR as Mum was “killed” by medical negligence ( a nurse gave her liguid penicillin ORALLY when she was unconscious which led to a respiratory arrest as the liquid went  STRAIGHT into her lungs) and my sister and HER husband (tho WTF had it to do with him?) refused to initiate a justifiable complaint against the Hospital. ( I tried by myself BUT apparently they needed THE WHOLE FAMILY to be the complainants, EVEN tho’ I was the only family member that was present to see the nurse kill Mum) I HAVE to continue my fight to get answers to MY justifiable complaint.

SO in effect my Mum is telling me to continue in a convoluted way and is BLAMING my sister for refusing to start a complaint for HER death JUST as she has done now to me.

or is is just one hell of a coincidence.

My Dad was a spiritual healer when he was alive and believed in the “after-life” SO  I tend to believe my second theory as we were all brought up with Dad and his thoughts. He did some AMAZING stuff with his healings tho’. All unexplainable in the normal medical sense.

Didn’t know my sister hated my Mum so much especially when the “counsellors” post 1999 SAID that I HATED my Mum and my sister and coupled with the fact I am ambidextrous THESE were the reasons I was angry/depressed and not what Dai Sheepman had done to me

I didnt hate my sister then BUT I DO NOW.


One Response to “Ooops that was close”

  1. Nikki Says:

    Hey boyo…DON’T let these f’in assholes beat you! PLEASE stay strong and know you are worth more alive than on the other side. People DO care and we know you’re right! Remember I know how you’re feeling and I wish you inner peace and send you big hugs today. Just come off the phone from hospital and i’m shaking with rage…still trying to get my “lost notes”…but you know what I WILL carry on fighting the arses every step of the way. For my mum, me, you and everyone else ever mistreated by the NHS. Keep tapping on that keyboard…I love reading your thoughts 🙂

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