Don’t give up

I had a dream last night where I had a crowd of people round my house. I was making teas and coffees as they all piled in my front door carrying amps, guitars and setting them up in my front room. It was noisy and chaotic but I felt happy as I was greeted by all and sundry as they laughed and joked. All faces from the past. I was carrying suitcases up to the bedrooms.

I came down stairs  to see my sister coming in the house, with her husband, I grabbed her and threw her out the front door and told her she was not welcome as I ran through the reasons why whilst pushing her down my long front path. I was not walking on the path but a few feet in the air, I was suddenly dressed in black and noticed my sisters hair was as it was when she was in her 20’s, but I felt old.

I saw my neighbours, all of whom were in their gardens, stop what they were doing and stand up to look at me shouting at my sister. The sun was shining

She said that she would sort my mortgage out and I said/screamed it was not up to her but it was Dr A’s mistake that put me here and IT WAS HIS apology/retribution I wanted. I screamed it’s my life

I went, in the dream, back up stairs and went into my sons room which was empty and the person there turned into my sister lying on the floor, crying saying she was looking for someway to help me.

Her husband came towards me dressed in a hat and tails. I screamed and woke up crying and standing up in my bedroom.

The room was warm and the 1st reaction I had was to feel the radiators to see if I had left the central heating on, but no.

This song flashed into my mind as, in my mind, were the words

Don’t give up.

People used to say my ex wife looked like Kate Bush and this song was always a song that said it all during my divorce and the subsequent disaster caused by Dr A.

So hard tho’


I was supposed to have an appointment with Nice Doctor yesterday for him to check my Blood pressure after the debacle with the Amlodipine, but the surgery said they had tried to get hold of me by my mobile, to cancel and re arrange.

I did not receive a call  DESPITE it being on my person 24 hours a day and ALWAYS on. On vibrate and LOUD in my trouser pocket, the same one as my keys. AND no missed calls.

The reason for the cancellation was that Nice Doctor had something else to do. WHAT! Shouldn’t the PATIENTS be a priority. The only time I cancelled at short notice was for the deaths of my Dad and Mum

APART FROM June 11th 1998 but then I was promised, assured that MY PRACTICE affairs WOULD be “looked after”.

What a fkn lie but it shows that Doctors don’t give a damn for patients. I DID and that is what really hurts.

Despite the Welsh NHS saying Putting the Patient First

The Welsh Assembly Government

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