A friend is desperate

I received a suicidal/plea email today from a close friend We both have similar problems fighting the damned NHS. We are BOTH erroneously defined as mental patients and ignored by the UK NHS.

I now reprint part of the email and my reply is in bold.

I am sorry <name> is not listening to you; like the rest of us he can’t get inside how you feel, it’s too complicated. I am also sorry that justifiable bitterness, complaints, anger are dominating your thoughts and actions and that you feel the only way to regain power is self destruction. Keep on with the action plan, at least it provides intellectual stimulation

She was “crying” in that email. 

I am sitting here and I have re-read that letter from your last friend. I have re-read it a few times to make sure I had not misread it. Basically , to me, it is a move on and grow up load of bollix.

“If I had known what a struggle it was to join the human race, I would have not begun, I would have had such fun, Am I the only one” wrote someone about 5 years ago.

It is so difficult NOT to focus on our problems, I know that as I have been doing so for fkn years. BUT and a big BUT WHAT the fuck do people think is wrong with us when they reject people that ARE ill. Or shall I say reject people that Doctors SAY are ill EVEN with, in my case PROOF, that that doctor is a fkn liar.

You/ we would have sympathy in abundance if we shaved our heads and walked with a limp, clutching a massive stick. Overeat and troll around in an electric scooter and NOBODY would say to your face “stop eating fattie” Nobody would say that to you if you smoked 100 fags a day whilst on nebullisers and oxygen. If you were an alcoholic, doing that walk, looking like a zombie noone would say to you “stop drinking you fkn arsehole” Well not to your face, they may and probably would talk about us behind our backs BUT I have noticed that with alcoholics , for example, people say “There for the grace of god go I, poor sod” BUT, again a big BUT, they say “fkn nutter” to people with “mental” problems. I now say THAT to people like your “friend”

She is like that so called woman that I meet IN Tesco and tells me to move on as it is only money.

People are scared of us cos we reflect what they see in themselves.

I am not scared of you and if you were a physical friend and we were both as we are now I hope we could scream at each other, clear the cobwebs with words, and WE would get closer. Not physically BUT mentally closer not further apart.

I think they are scared that we are what they THINK they are, if you see what I mean. They see themselves in our reflection and are scared that THEY may turn out like us. ‘cos in the minds THEY have problems they do not/ cannot deal with. BUT we can be swept under the fkn carpet.

I have an iatrogenic ( caused by a doctor ) mental problem and I say, with respect, so do you. OUR problems are exacerbated by people NOT FKN LISTENING to us because each time we open our mouths their brains go “Here they go again, rabbiting on, they are just like that psychopath that stabbed that innocent bypasser” etc etc. Its the “football supporter syndrome from the ’80’s WHEN all the violence was going on between an incredible small minority of aresholes and YET ALL football supporters were tarred with the same brush. All Irish men from Northern Ireland were terrorists in the’70’s. All muslims are potential suicide bombers, all welsh men shag sheep, All Americans are self centred fools, all politicians are there only for what they can get out of it, all bankers are greedy bastards. All false statements BUT all mental people are potential psychopaths.

just re read that email from your “friend”  The word “justifiable” grates in my mind, it sticks out, it flashes like a neon sign.

from an online dictionary;  Having sufficient grounds for justification; possible to justify: justifiable resentment, having a good cause or reason

etc etc.  WHAT THE FUCK do you do , give up, NO if a complaint is “of good cause or reason” continue, get answers.

If your fridge freezer packs up and the shop won’t change it for a new one that works you write to Watchdog and the world and their dog goes: “Keep fighting girl get justice”

eg A man with  tattoos was barred from a nightclub, that has the policy of NO VISIBLE TATS, HE writes to the local rag and suddenly he is front page and people are going on about prejudice etc etc and campaigns are started to over turn that rule. Yet this man gets in the paper and 200 people support him. My local Paper says my case is of no interest to the general public. I was barred from a club years ago ‘cos I wore trainers, I said oh crap, and strolled to a decent pub.

WE have NO choice for the way WE are because Medical Science (HA) categorises us with people that have Mental Illnesses with no visible causes. Mine is caused by Dr A lying etc etc yours is on similar lines.

I use the example of Dr Harold Shipman when fellow doctors and pharmacists COVERED UP his over-prescribing of weird and wonderful drugs whilst that man was becoming the biggest serial killer in UK history. How can WE get justice when the Medical profession cover that man up AND HIS FKN WIFE STILL GETS HIS PENSION??????????????????????????????????? As my sister covers up for Dr A’s lies.

Trust me I am a Doctor.

And then WE have friends like that lady.

I have love for you, not in the “Sun“”Cosmopolitan way but love for a fellow sufferer as  I know how you feel, I want to help you ‘cos helping you helps me and vice versa. I see in you what I see in me and that scares me NOT because I don’t want to admit it  BUT because I know, see got the fkn tee shirt etcetc One example.

One should pity people like that. A friend of  the past 5 years has gone ballistic, by email, you know the all I did for you crap etc etc JUST because I feel low as hell now cos of my thumbs, and I have Catherine staying as SHE sorts HER head out, but I have all the same problems banging around. How do I say Fuck off to her??? I am not  the sort of person to tell someone to fuck off when to do so just exaggerates what is in my mind.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked,  ”how heavy is this glass of water? ” Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.  The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.
”If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I  hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.
”In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”
He continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time,  sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.
”As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When  we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of  work down. Don’t carry it home; you can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let  them down for a moment if you can. Relax, pick them up later after you’ve rested.
Life is short. Enjoy it!”

Easy with a glass of water but apart from the ending HOW DO I, for example , put down the figurative glass of water when daily I get reminders of what I was. Adverts on TV, people asking me about teeth etc. WE CANNOT put it down because people KEEP giving that fkn glass back to us for us to hold.

I wish, as you wish, that we could put it down. I did when at work I totally ignored teeth outa surgery and if asked when out I could say here is my card, call in and see me and I will blah blah…NOW I cannot say that SO THEY SAY “well dont pick up the glass then” , to continue the analogy, ‘scuse me ***t YOU FKN gave me the glass back.

re the glass of water shit I can’t even HOLD a glass as both thumbs fkn hurt altho’ glucosamine gel relieves the prob for a while.


I care

Neither of us are mad BUT the British government say in a report:

      The general public are broadly sympathetic to people with mental health problems and community care.

  • However, some attitudes towards people with mental health problems are worse compared to when the Department of Health first commissioned the poll in 1994, including two relating to fears of patients.
  • On the other hand, several attitudes that had worsened over the period up until 1997 have since improved.
  • Only two attitudes have changed significantly since last year, both an improvement – more think people with mental illness have been subject to ridicule for too long and less think it is easy to tell them from ‘normal people’.

YET the reaction we receive from people is TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

Dr A replied to my questions “from memory as he did not have access to my medical notes. As Medical Director of Neath Port Talbot Local health Board and a qualified Medical practitioner (1972 in Dublin) HE SHOULD KNOW THAT A RESPONSE TO A COMPLAINT SHOULD BE FACTUAL.

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3 Responses to “A friend is desperate”

  1. pat gilmartin Says:

    hi, sorry do NOT search blogs for me. goole have put me on general search[dont know why[ type in iatrogenic ireland] and follow instructions i gave you in emal. my site comes up at the top.regards

  2. pat gilmartin Says:

    sorry, further to my email to you, i should have mentioned that S.I.N. based in the U.K. which is linked to the above groups might help you. i do not know their web address. regards

  3. pat gilmartin Says:

    contact IAPO and IEU. they deal with IATROGENICS.At least 20,000 people die each year in the U.K. due to above. Here, in IRELAND, 2000 to 3000. gook luck

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