The last post before……………

I was listening to Radio 4 about the difficulties experienced when one suddenly disappears from the public eye. The discussion was about our dear ex-Prime Minister which I will not elaborate on here.

However it made me think.

One minute June 11th 1998 I was a upper middle class citizen (with a few problems)al. ex Public school (Malvern College) same year as Jeremy Paxman (whom I do remember oddly enough as we were in different houses and classes. ) And Lord Waverley John Anderson.

THEN

I am a Mental Patient and suddenly classless. My Professional friends (HA friends?!?) shunned me. My Professional colleagues ignored me. For example I asked a Dental body for help in mid 1998 and they sent me a Christmas Hamper full of expensive foods and drink, to be repeated in 1999. I found that a dreadful insult but nobody listened to what I was saying.

Especially Dr A and sadly my sister. I only went to see her for the next 2-3 years as I thought that my son liked his cousins. I was separated in 1994 and went for Sunday lunch with her family. I disliked going to see her as I could not dis-associate Dr A from her, although at the time he was resolutely quiet and NEVER answered ANY questions I had. AND I had NO clue as to what had happened as I was still reeling from the onslaught. Now with her lack of response she is tarred by the same brush as Dr A. I had to sell all antiques that Mum had left me just to survive as I had NO MONEY ………….. suddenly. Thanks to Dr A.

I had to cope with loosing my identity as a Dental Surgeon, having NO Professional  friends suddenly just 2/3 friends from my musical and theatrical endeavours (I still cannot get them to stop calling me “Al the Dentist” and talking about teeth). I do not mix with them much these days And all the time THIS was happening and lead to THIS. And my heart problems of which this is a brief synopsis.

 The decision for Suicide will be taken from my hands as I will have a General Anaesthetic for the subclavian graft to look forward to on Thursday 19th March. I don’t want to wake up with all this HELL around me….but I do not want to die but then it is all over.

And Dr A’s diagnosis will have at last come true.

 

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