I WILL TRY to relive those moments of sheer anger  frustration rage

        For example I ‘ve blown up or crashed 5 cars in 8 years. My hobbies have now had to stop because of the pain in my left arm. I write songs and play guitar and piano and  spend hours in the garden and house trying to get them in a good condition. I am partially ambidextrous so doing anything remotely strenuous causes pain in my left arm. I am not even slightly breathless, the muscles just hurt because of the blockage,  which has I assume,  causes the muscles to scream for oxygen.

I lost at least £200k on sale of my practice

         I saw another  Dr recently when I presented to get a new prescription medication prescribed by my Cardiiology Consultant., which incidentally I had to ask for rather than it being offered. who as I was explaining my blockage in my left Brachial Artery  interrupted and said if it was blocked my arm would go blue and fall off. .However the Surgeon said it WAS blocked having seen my CT SCAN which he showed to me and confirmed above ) but HE said some medical waffle which I understood) so this Dr in effect implied that the Surgeon is wrong and THIS without even examining me. I had interpreted the word blocked as impeding the flow “of blood”     He also refused to believe that I had NO pulse in my left hand and spent a while trying to find a pulse especially as one of his subordinate Doctors  had discovered and started ALL this. But then I assume he hadn’t read my notes so hadn’t read about the symptoms I gave, that started all this cardio stuff. Or read about the failed angiogram Or knew that the following Monday I was to have  in effect 2 angiograms which ascertained that  my artery WAS blocked and I now need some surgery on my neck.  He also said I was having a Cardiac bypass and  I do have a Mental Illness, diagnosis forgotten by me,  despite 2 recent psychiatrists telling me that  I don’t.

        I’ve become hypersensitive to a GP’s reactions and comments a few more sadly than documented. They appear minor and would have guaranteed a “smart and humorous” response once but now they just amplify the attitude of Dr A. The attitude that patients interrupt the smooth running of a good NHS General Practice and he don’t care anyway. My opinion is also based on observing  medical members of my family that no longer wish to be associated with me. One saying Dr A means well which implies knowledge of his inadequacies and she has worked with him, as his senior medical Partner, for 20 years

        I had a lung abscess because a doctor couldn’t be bothered to treat such a “nice looking boy as my self”. Could  there be a connection in theory between starting the complaint and  my “not getting” treated. Again I have heard over the years that Doctors do make comments about transferred patients. I have a stress related heart disease caused directly by Dr A and his refusal to be honest

        In the 1st anger management class in Hospital I was thrown out of it almost immediately because I was asked what made me angry  days after being admitted  so strangely I got angry and was ejected forthwith for being …………….TOO ANGRY. SO as I now have the ANGER of Thor , because of the denial of fact,  I  explode when someone asks me  why and then immediately interrupts  with a  “that’s in the past” and/or after I have gone through hell say “well there is nothing I can do” They then eject me from the room. So I am now in a worse state than when I went in to see them. I now DO NOT WANT TO GO to “the doctors” which is not good news for my heart and lungs.

     The times I wanted to die….not really because that HAS NEVER BEEN AN OPTION. If die has to be in the phrase then it is I want the truth and answers before I die or I will die trying.  What about the times I cried?

        The NHS in the guise of health care  from the majority of local medical services providers I have seen since 1993 have effectively compromised my Mental Health and  my respiratory. cardio and circulatory systems. Not in hospital as all staff in the 3 local hospitals have been EXCELLENT it is General Practice. Only my bones are left as things that matter.

The recovery time is getting shorter from each Pavlovian  reaction or is it P.T.S.D. but I am more depressed each time. Altho the latest psychiatrist says I have a mild depression and only for the last 2 years. For christ sake HE is the boss psychiatrist in this area. Ive written to him and shouted at him. He is only offer of treatment was to offer to section me if I tried to commit suicide.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: